I've been wanting to do a series of Elopement Blogs ever since Brett and I first started planning ours back in May of 2019. We didn't have a ton of time to plan but one thing is for sure, even if we had years and years to make decisions about our special day, we still would've eloped. Nothing against big weddings but that was just the right decision for us and it was without a doubt the best of our lives thus far ( and will probably only be second to the birth of our children when we have them).
Before we dive into the reasons why, I want to establish what an "elopement," is. When you hear the word you might think about that couple you know that ran off to Vegas and said their vows in front of Elvis. It was a probably spur of the moment, maybe even alcohol motivated or maybe it was just that your family didn't approve so you ran away.
But that's simply not the case anymore.
Elopements are more like intimate weddings, so intimate that often times it's you and the person you love. Elopements are planned with your wants in mind and catered to your maximum enjoyment and focus on what really matters: you and the person you love.
Now here are the reasons
1. Weddings are Impersonal
I love the movie, "Our Family Wedding," starring America Ferrera and Lance Gross. They're this super cute couple straight out of college who's about to get married. In this one scene, they're sitting down with both of their families to plan out their wedding but every idea they throw out gets shot down.
When America Ferrera's character tries to pipe in how none of their wants are being considered, she and her fiance are met with "This is our wedding, your marriage," and that was that.
I feel like a lot of weddings end up that way, either because your parents are footing the bill so they're entitled an opinion and final say. Or because you feel like you have to include everyone's traditions, invite family members you never talk to and in the end, you wind up compromising a lot of things you want on a day that's supposed to be all about YOU. The both of you.
Sometimes your wedding ends up being less than enjoyable because you don't want to get dressed up, or you don't like being the center of attention. Maybe you'd rather run through the woods in a classy jumpsuit, climbing trees with the love of your life. Maybe not. Some people love the pomp and circumstance of a big wedding and all the power to you! There's a lot to love about weddings and the wedding industry will hype all those things up for you. But there is still something to be said about slowing things down and doing things that represent you.
2. Weddings are Expensive
Weddings cost so much money! I probably don't have to tell that because we already know from shows like 4 weddings, Say Yes to the Dress, and various other wedding movies. In 2019 the average cost of a wedding according to Wedding Wire's Newlywed Report is $38,700.
Things you can pay for with $38,700
A really nice new car
College Tuition ( Student Loans too)
A year-long trip around the world
An Island off the coast of Nova Scotia
A Tiny House
Now if you'd rather spend your money building the wedding of your dreams, I totally encourage you and I'm here for it. But if that's not your cup of tea, think about how you could spend less than 1/3 of that and have a day that's about what you really want. Think about what you could do with all that extra money! Get married and take that trip to Africa that you guys have been dreaming about. Buy your first home or go back to school. The possibilities are endless.
3. Eloping lets you spend your money on what matters to you.
When Brett and I first started planning our wedding (this is back when we were still thinking traditional) we were overwhelmed with the number of things we were going to have to compromise on because we didn't have the money. Planning a wedding for $10,000 that you'll love is close to impossible.
The best thing about not blowing TONS of money on a wedding is that you can splurge on the things that really matter to you. Like traveling somewhere incredible for your elopement, buying that dress that you LOVE, or hiring your dream photographer (Hi!). You don't worry about a million vendors, just a few quality people, most of the time it's just your photographer.
4. Weddings produce A LOT of waste
"According to the Green Bride Guide, the average wedding produces 400-600lbs of waste and 63 tons of CO2. With an estimated 2.5 million wedding per year, that's about 1 billion lbs of trash and as many emissions as approximately 4 people would produce in a year, in one day."
JUST ONE DAY That's crazy, right? As people who take climate change and the health of the planet to heart, Brett and I didn't feel comfortable participating in that.
Now there are definitely ways to make you're wedding more green, you don't have to elope to help the planet. If you're interested in finding out how I've attached the link here.
Aside from the waste that hurts the planet, there are so many things that you just don't use anymore. All the decorations for the table, your invitations, flowers, and so much more. Some of the things you don't even get to see let alone experience.
Now Elopement's aren't completely waste-free but even if you fly across the globe, your impact is SIGNIFICANTLY less than throwing a big party.
5. Destination Elopements are way easier to plan than Destination Weddings
Okay who are we kidding, we've all imagined how cool it would be to stand on the edge of a volcano in Hawaii and say the most intimate things of heart to the person we love. Or maybe you've pictured running through the streets of London or frolicking in the Irish Countryside.
But then we look at the venues and the tickets and the vendors and it's all such a headache because maybe they aren't even in the same time zone as us.
Maybe the wedding venues aren't close enough to the mountains you wanted to go there for or if they are close the price is insane. Or you're thinking that no one is going to travel across the world to witness your "I Do's"
Yeah, I feel you on that. But instead of settling on a venue that doesn't make you happy, maybe think about Eloping instead. Elopements just require you, your officiant and your photographer. This means that if you want, you can just pack your bags and hike to an AMAZING location. You have the mobility of small numbers and the ability to unconventional and impractical. Even if it's you and a few family and friends that often way easier to coordinate.
The one thing I will say is that the legalities getting married in a foreign country can be challenging, and I highly encourage you to do the legal legwork at home (i.e. go to your local courthouse) and make what you do at your wedding purely ceremonial ( means you don't need an officiant, which doesn’t make it ANY less special!).
Not having to figure out all the rules and regulations in a foreign country will make things infinitely easier and save you both time and stress. Not having an officiant or a ton of people doesn't mean your wedding day isn't just as valid and real as it would be with all that. It's still special.
So, find a beautiful spot in nature (need some ideas anywhere in the world? I can help!) and say your vows just the two of you to make life a lot easier.
Bonus Reason AKA my biggest reason: Experience over Production
This one is small, it's just deciding whether you want to put on a show all day in an extravagant dress, cutting the cake and doing the dance or if you'd rather not. Weddings with their tight schedules and flashiness, they're this giant orchestrated event with very little wiggle room to go off-script. On your elopement day, your photographer (especially if it's me) will be more than happy to follow you around town or up a mountainside capturing every pitstop along the way. If you want to nap amongst redwoods, build a campfire by a crystal clear lake or roll down grassy hills as you did as a kid your photographer will be there to capture it all and you'll feel natural and free the whole time.
IN SUMMARY...
Personally, I love the romance and adventure of eloping, it's personal, intimate and stunning beyond belief. I spent the days before my wedding, hiking through valleys, sleeping under the stars and marveling at the mountains surround us. I preferred that to the tasks of ensuring that family members were arriving on time, double-checking with my caterer that we have enough chicken or going over my schedule with my photographer. I got to slow down and just be with the man I love.
HOWEVER, eloping is not for everyone.
I feel it's important to say that no matter how you decide to do your day, please please make sure that it's YOUR DAY! That every decision you make is motivated by whether it makes you happy or conveys what you're passionate about and really matters to you. Wedding and Elopements are very different animals but the one thing they have in common is that they're about you and your loved one committing to each other. You only get one chance to do this thing (hopefully) so make sure you do it right, I mean it's only the rest of your life.
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