If you're anything like me, you start the New Year all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed with an endless amount of motivation to tackle your resolutions. You have decided that this is the year that you're going to get your shit together, quit your job and start that new business, lose the weight you've been glaring at in the mirror and finally take that trip to Paris you've been thinking about. You prepare for all these things, buying new work out clothes, doodling the logo for your business and tracking flights on several apps. You're ready and it starts out good, January is in your pocket but then something happens.
You stay out late one night, dancing with your friends and decide to skip your morning workout. You get a new project at work that has you spending all your free time trying to finish it and leaves you with no time to work on your business. You're overwhelmed, tired and that last thing on your mind is looking at the itinerary for your Paris trip.
One skipped morning workout, turns into two and you think well I've already missed two days I'll just start over next week. You push off your new business to later in the year when your day job isn't so busy and you have more free time. And well you know how the story goes right? By the time you look up you're in the middle of May and you're disappointed with all the time that's passed between birthdays parties (draining your wallet), sickness (keeping you out the gym), and work projects(stressing you out and taking up mental space) you've made little to no progress with your goals.
So what do you do? Settle into dissatisfaction and try again next year? NO WAY, not this time babes.
Let me tell you my tips and tricks to sticking with your resolutions and elevating your life to where you want to be. You only get one life, let's take control of it and live it the way you want to!
Be Prepared!
One of the biggest places we fall short is preparation. I am a class procrastinator so I can tell you first hand, anytime I fell short of a goal or was disappointed with my results, it was because I didn't prepare. I set myself up for failure. But when I did take the time in advance to prepare for the task at hand, especially when I wasn't excited about doing it in the first place, it made such a big difference.
For example, I am not a morning person but I know that's the best time of day to work out. It boosts your metabolism, aids digestion, gives you energy and so many other things, and since I'm not working a conventional job I have no excuse not to wake up and get it done.
But I HATE MORNINGS! So this is what I did, during my night time routine I would pick out my yoga clothes, set my mat by the door and decide on which flow/poses I wanted to do and made a playlist to go along with it. I found that while I was preparing for it, my anxiety would dissipate and I was actually excited and eager to get up and do it!
So if you want to start a business and you still have a day job, try waking up earlier and spending an hour every day working on it. If you can't wake up earlier because maybe you already have to be at work at 7, find 10-20 minutes in your day to set a timer and sit down and do some quality work. Just make sure if you're doing that you have an outline of what you need to do and the order (if needed).
Or if you want to take more pictures of yourself for your Instagram, plan the shoot ahead of time. Pick out your outfit and try it on ( that's the most important part, can't tell you how many times I skip that part and regret it). Scout your location, either go there in person or research it online.
If you don't prepare and plan ahead, you're sabotaging yourself plain and simple. Think about this way, if you were going to a job interview you wouldn't just show up. You'd pick an appropriate outfit, research the company a bit, practice your interview questions, show up early and know your stuff. BE PREPARED! BE PREPARED! BE PREPARED! Just imagine I said in my best Scar voice or play it on Spotify (all versions are great), do whatever you gotta do as long it involves...BE-ING PREPARED.
It's life-changing I swear.
Set Short, Medium and Long Goals
This one is a favorite of mine. Breaking your goals down into intervals makes it easier for you to achieve them. So say your long or big goal is to be able to run a mile. Your small goal would be to walk a mile and your medium goal would be to walk half a mile and run the other half.
If needed, you can break it down into even smaller goals, say in the first week you want to walk a mile in 25 minutes and in the next week, you'll drop it to 20 minutes and then the next week 15 minutes. Then you'd move on to jogging, jog a mile in 25 minutes and then 20 minutes and so on. Each time you do it, that's goals reached. Not only will this give you confidence and satisfaction from reaching these goals but it'll give you a steady pace to achieving your long term goal.
One of my resolutions is I want to be able to squat 250lbs by the end of the New Year. My short term goal is to squat 100lbs by February, 150 by May, 200 by August and 250 by November. Putting myself on a timeline that ends before the New Year makes it more likely that I'll achieve it, it also gives me a practical amount of time to work up to each weight.
After you've set your goals, give yourself a time frame, whether it's by a certain month in so many weeks, whatever. Then write down what steps you're going to take to reach these goals. For my squats, I'm going to work legs every week and make sure each leg workout I do incorporates squats in some shape or form and stretch my hamstrings and quads daily to promote muscle growth. There are other things like eating 30 minutes after your workout, taking in the right amount of protein and of course patience.
Take it to step by step, day by day. You have to crawl before you can walk, and crawling is an achievement all by itself. Which leads me to my next point...
Celebrate Your Small Victories
I am a big BIG believer in celebrating your small victories! This is so important for your confidence and growth. You have to be your own cheer team, otherwise, you'll be looking to others your whole life to hype you up and tell you what you're capable of. You don't need that babes, get to know yourself, what you can do and then be proud AF of it.
Things to celebrate
Waking up on TIME (that's a big one if we're being honest)
Eating all 3 meals (I missed this a lot in college)
Choosing to drink water over soda for a meal
Walking up the stairs instead of the elevator
Having money in the Bank
Taking 10 minutes to do something that makes you happy
Listening to your body whether it needs rest, food, exercise, etc.
Starting/Finishing a Blog Post
Spending time researching your interest instead of scrolling on Instagram
Realizing something about yourself (your perspectives, how you process things, what triggers you)
Stepping out of your comfort zone ( going to a new class, talking to a stranger, trying new food)
Taking time to paint your nails
Scheduling important appointments
Doing the hardest task first
Going grocery shopping instead of out to eat
Not picking up your phone as soon as you wake up
Spending time researching your interest instead of scrolling on Instagram
Small victory parties are a new concept for some of us perfectionists because we're super hard on ourselves so here are some ways to pat yourself on the back.
Watch a movie you love
Go out with your friends
Buy a book you've been wanting or something else small that won't break the bank (lipstick, cheesecake, paint supplies)
5-minute dance party
Scroll on Instagram for 10 minutes
Take a nice bath or do some self-care
Text someone about what you did or write it down on the calendar to keep track
Spend time outside
Treat yourself to dinner
Hang out and unwind with friends
MOST IMPORTANTLY- allow yourself to be excited about whatever it is,
Tell People about your Goals and Find an Accountability Partner(s)
Tell people about your goals! Be loud about your dreams. Why? Because this will keep you accountable. Your friends will ask you how your progress towards your goal is going and that will be a constant reminder to keep working. You don't want to be the friend who cried success but had nothing to show for it. You want to be able to show up the weekly bar crawl and say yeah I'm posting 3 blogs this month or I'm already running a 1/4 mile isn't that great. And the best part is your friends and family are going to root for you and cheer you on.
Now take it a step further and pick a friend to partner with and swap goals. Tell them about the goal you're the most worried about and then hear their goal. Swap resolutions and help each other chase them. Promise to keep each other accountable. This will be the friend who double-checks that you're hitting your weekly markers. They'll text you to see if you woke up on time, read your blog post and give you feedback, hype you up about that job interview and you'll do the same for them. You can even make an occasion out of it, meet up every two weeks in person for dinner or a fun activity to talk about and celebrate your progress.
If you're both trying to get fit, work out together. Make a competition out of it and see who can get the most steps that day. If you're both trying to start a new career, go to networking events together and use each other as wingmen for jobs! Going through it with someone who's also working to better themselves will make it easier and keep you responsible because you have to answer to not just yourself but your accountability partner too.
List your task from Hardest to Easiest and do the Hardest task first.
Always do the hardest task first! Here's why, getting the most annoying, nerve-wracking, time-consuming thing is so flippin' satisfying that everything you have to do after feels like child's play.
Maybe you're trying to save money and you need to ask your boss for a promotion. The longer you put it off, the more you antagonize over it and let it float through your mind while you're doing other things. It sits over your head like a funky little fog and you still have to do it. So save your self the agony and march your butt into your bosses office, tell them your value and ask for what you deserve babes. They'll either say yes or no and in the end, you'll walk out with more money, plans to improve so you get a yes next time or the motivation to get a new job that appreciates you boo.
And it doesn't have to be something as big as a promotion, it can be calling about a mistake on your bill, cleaning your house or your daily workout. Get it done and you'll feel better about the day.
Join a Community or Group that involves your Goals
Okay, you've got an accountability partner and that's great but sometimes it takes a village. When I first started doing Zumba at my gym, I was super intimidated because the women in my class were older and had been doing it for a while. Luckily for me, this super sweet woman introduced herself to me and then introduced me to all the other ladies and our instructor. After that every time I came to class the women greeted me and asked me how I was doing, we would make jokes about new routines and at the end of every single class, we all took a picture with our instructor. I loved the community I felt with these women, they noticed when I missed class and would ask if I was alright. They noticed when I started slimming up and complimented me. They even noticed when I was slacking off and would push me to give it my all.
Being apart of the community keeps me accountable and wanting to go to class. The same way that having Instagram friends who blog and create content inspires and pushes me to stick with it. Seeing people from all walks of life with the same goals as you is not only inspiring but gives you a sense of comfort about the worthiness of your goal too. You now have people to ask questions when you're confused, and to support you when you're down. You can even try new things together and form friendships. The women at my gym go to different gyms for Bootcamp and attend the other classes at the gym like abs & glutes and spin.
So seek out a community, they will understand what you're going through, have insight about possible hiccups you'll face and more importantly they'll get your goal, cause it's their goal too.
Reflect on Past Goals (Forgive yourself and start with a clean slate)
This is important because you can learn a lot from your failures. In fact, your failures can teach you more about yourself than any personality test or zodiac sign ever could. When you examine your past goals, note where things got off track and what caused that. Gain an understanding of why you didn't reach those goals and then make a plan to overcome it.
So if you couldn't work out because you planned to wake up and do it, switch it up and work out before bed. If you were working on your photography business on the side but didn't book anyone because you didn't know how Google and research how people are marketing themselves on platforms like Instagram and Twitter. Build an Instagram dedicated to your photography, build a portfolio and start spreading the word. Maybe you have to do a couple of free shots at first just to get experience and the word out there but believe it or not, that's how A LOT of photographers started out.
Know this, doubt has killed more dreams than failure ever could and failure is just a lesson on what doesn't work.
After you've figured it, forgive yourself for not accomplishing your previous goals and start out with a clean slate. Don't hold it against yourself like a tally, start fresh with wide-open eyes, put your head down and get to work.
Restart Everyday: Do better Today than you did Yesterday
"Do better today then you did yesterday," I saw this on Instagram one day and its been my motto ever since. If you work on making each day better than the last you'll continuously make progress and at an exponential rate but also on the other hand, if you have a rough day you just have to be determined to do better tomorrow babes. It's that simple.
What is this idea that we have to wait for this one time of year, New Year's where we get to hit this magic button and start over or start something new? Why do we all subscribe to the notion that we have ONE chance every year to step out of boxes and make resolutions?
I mean it's not like we're more likely to succeed if we start then versus starting in I don't know, May.
The thing is you don't have to wait until January 1st to change your life around and start something new. You can start over any day at any point, you just have to listen to Nike and "Just Do It"
Cultivate Discipline over Motivation
On any given day I want to be described as a disciplined person instead of a motivated one. Why? Because motivation is a fickle lover, it comes and goes and you can't depend on it to get you through the hard times. You will never ALWAYS be motivated so you must learn to be disciplined.
Discipline is what makes you get up every morning at 6 am even when you don't feel like it, even after you spent a night out partying and drinking. Discipline pushes you to stay up and finish that blog instead of calling it a night. Discipline calls you to confirm that you're going to show up for yourself every single day.
I never understood the difference between the two until I spent a summer working as a horse wrangler at a summer camp. Every day I woke up at 4 am to groom and feed horses and for the first two weeks, I was incredibly miserable. But as time went on I kept doing it regardless of if I got 6 hours of sleep the night before (yeah that never happened) or no sleep (happened way more often). I learned to show up and get shit done even when I didn't feel like it. I would work with jammed fingers, bruised toes, colds, and homesickness.
When I came back from camp, I had gained this incredible discipline. I was up early for things ( 3 or 4 hours early sometimes) for the first time in my life, eating all three meals, picking out my clothes ahead of time and just, in general, a more organized person. That let me get way more things done and I worried less about if I felt like it or if I liked it and just did it because I had to. Every day I had to choose between the pain of being disciplined and the pain of regret. I mean how can you expect to succeed if you only put in work on the days you feel like it. Think of discipline as the bridge between your goals becoming your accomplishments. You don't have to be extreme, remember you're human, you just have to be consistent.
Now when I'm working out and I'm tired or I'm lying on the couch not wanting to go to the gym I remember, "You have to earn your body Viranda."
Don't get me wrong motivation is important too, it's where your inspiration comes from and that's the initial spark that gets you going but everything after, is all on the back of discipline. Discipline is your flame.
At the end of the day, you don't get what you wish for, you get what you work for.
Why are you making these resolutions? Write it down!
Now we're talking about motivation. Why are you making these resolutions? What do you stand to lose if you don't commit right now?
Are you starting a business to gain financial freedom? Are you working out so you can live a happier healthier life? Do you want to travel so you can learn more about the world and yourself? Whatever it is write it down. Write it on sticky notes and put it on your bathroom mirror. Keep in the note section of your phone or screenshot it and make it your background. Look at your reasons every day, as often as needed to keep yourself focused and moving towards your goals.
These reasons are what you're going to go back to on rough days when you want to quit and you haven't mastered your discipline quite yet. Tell your friends and community about your reasons for your goal so they can help push and motivate you.
REST BABES and HAVE SOME FUN
It's true that consistency is key and what that means is that small work is still work done babes. TAKE A BREAK (in my best Eliza Schyler voice).
All work and no play is super unhealthy. Make sure that you find a balance between rest, fun and work. Some days you'll spend 5 hours on your blog and crank out 20 posts, other days you'll have 30 minutes to jot down a few ideas for the future and then have to head out for dinner with the girls. In the midst of your busy life remember to take the occasional nap, sleep in some days and in general remember that rest is part of self-care.
Even with working out, Brett and I will work out 5 days a week for a month to two months and then take a week off to rest. Why? Because it lets all your muscles completely heal and be able to rejuvenate so that when you come back you can work them to their full potential. In fact, if you're just trying to maintain your health, this will keep you from having to constantly increase weight and reps for the same result.
At the end of the day, you're making these goals to improve your quality of life. You want to go out and party all night? I'm all for it but wake up the next day, drink some water, pop some aspirin and work out babes. Balance is everything.
Anywhoo I know this was a super long post but this is so close to my heart. The only thing I love more than watching people chase their dreams is witnessing them reach them.
Did these ideas help? Do you have tips/tricks for sticking with your goals? What are your New Years Resolutions for 2020? Let me know so I can cheer you on and keep you accountable.
Happy New Years Babes
Viranda Michelle Brooks-Gonzalez
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